So much sober these, thoughts find me wanting, playing with need like pet. A game of chemicals, sedation. The art of bending perception, seeing how far it can be bent without breaking. This is an ancient pastime, practiced for thousands of years by men far better than me. But the beauty lies within the execution, the tactile act, the numbing of flesh. Categorizing which particular vice... is irrelevant. It's the quiet inside need, that atavistic desire, that visceral urge to do what we know to be bad for us. All that matters. It's something like passion, yet not nearly as noble.