Form and Function

she finds me in the dead of night

finds me here in my secondhand home

always alone and always waiting for her

my roommates ignore this situation

they turn their heads and pretend that

they don’t know she has

a husband and

two kids

asleep

at home

sometimes she wakes me up

I like that

I like that a lot

I can kind of image I’m waking up to

a woman who lives here

with me

we find things to do in the dead of night

games of sadist form and function

nudity

oral

sex

things that make us feel alive

things that make us forget

where we are

who we are

ourselves

she doesn’t smoke

but doesn’t really mind that I do

sometimes the smoke gets in her face

but she’ll move before she says anything

I notice this and put my cigarette out

I try not to smoke around her now

I didn’t used to

but she has become

important

to me

recently

I want to please her in every way I can

I want to be a better person for her

even though she isn’t mine

even though

I could never have er

all to myself

she said she’d try to come over tonight

she knows I depressed because the pills

are all gone and I’m feeling too sober

she could help that

she can intoxicate me with her sensual ways

at first it was just a fling

a sexual excursion that was naughty

forbidden

taboo

but it’s become something so much more

I feel myself needing her here with me

I feel my heart aching for her touch

for her flesh

for her evil ways

but I’m not a fool

this can’t last for ever

it’s all going to end badly

and I can never have her

but I can pretend

for a moment

that she is mine

completely

if she would just come by

and lay with me for a while